Kaleidoscope Kreations Reviews
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Hello Established April 19,2010 and headed by Kyn, Kaleidoscope Kreations aims to provide vistors with graphics and reviews. Email us at rain_kissed@live.com with your questions and comments
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Tuesday, October 19, 2010, 5:16 PM
Diary of an Ex-Stalker Fan
Title: 5/5The title was very fitting and eye catching.
Overall Appearance: 10/10
The poster is pretty, but what really captured my interest was the background. Although the story is mainly about Ara, and is told from her prospective it featured Ji Yong. Maybe it’s just because he is eye candy, but it left a deep impression on me. The way your background is like the page of a notebook, the writing is “dear diary”, and the only person on the page is Ji Yong really tells a lot about your story. The way Ara’s mind is on Ji Yong, how he is her focus despite everything, how her being and diary revolve around him.
Forewords: 8/10
Your forewords didn’t feel like an introduction to your story, it felt more like it was part of it. The forewords could have easily been passed off as a chapter. It would have been better if you gave more information on Ara’s background. Even though you tried to do so, things only became clear as I read the story.
Plot: 14/15
The plot was interesting; I really like how things weren’t repetitive. There was always something new and interesting going on.
Creativity/Originality: 13/15
I haven’t read anything like this before. Aside from being able to tell what was going to happen in some situations, I think the originality and creativity of this was good.
Flow: 8/10
The flow was pretty good, I can only find fault in the pace of the relationships in the story. Ara became so close to the Wonder Girls instantaneously; it felt more than surreal. It would be really good if you developed this relationship, and any future relationships that may occur.
Spelling/Grammar/Vocab.: 11/15
There were only common mistakes; however they are the ones that diminish your writing. In your writing I saw a lot of awkward sentences, spelling mistakes and you added in extra words that weren’t needed. There were also common mistakes in grammar like verb tense and making words plural when they didn’t need to be.
Excerpt from Chapter 8:
After a few more running I felt my romantic mood dissipated, as the reality me running out of breath is gnawing right in front of my face. Just like a fish out of water kind of thing. “W-Wait! Wait!” I pulled out all the strength I have to stop and literally grabbed my hand back, trust me I regret doing that. I should have enjoyed this moment with him. “HUFF! PUFF! W-Wha…” I sat down and felt my chest going to explode. “W-Wait…” I felt my chest was squeezing my heart so tight that I couldn’t breath.
My edit:
After some more running, I felt the romantic mood had dissipated because of the reality of me running out of breathe was gnawing at my face. It was just like the fish out of water thing. W-Wait! Wait!”I called on all the strength I had to stop. I literally grabbed my hand back, trust me, I regret doing so. I should have enjoyed this moment with him. “W-Wha…” I huffed asI sat down, it felt like my chest was going to explode. “W-Wait..”My heart was being squeezed so tight that I had trouble breathing.
Writing Style: 7/10
I noticed that you tried to include figurative language like personification, metaphors, and similies. It gives your writing a polished look and shows that you put thought into what you were writing. However some situations could have used more description. It seemed like you tried to show how fast some scenes were passing, in doing that you forgot to add in some important details; it seemed like there were holes in your writing.
Overall Enjoyment: 10/10
I really liked this, without realizing it I had finished all of the chapters and wanted more. It was so easy to read this story, despite the task heavy task of reading 22 (I think there were 2 reviews) chapters. The idea of Go Ara, Jaebum, and Ji Yong being paired together never once came to mind, but it seems to fit so well here. Maybe it’s because you convey your story so strongly, it was defiantly a good read. I sincerely enjoyed reading your story Unnie.
Total: 86/100
Labels: Kyn