Kaleidoscope Kreations Reviews
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Hello Established April 19,2010 and headed by Kyn, Kaleidoscope Kreations aims to provide vistors with graphics and reviews. Email us at rain_kissed@live.com with your questions and comments
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Tuesday, October 19, 2010, 5:07 PM
In The Name Of Love
Title: 5/5The title was interesting and clear reflection of the story.
Overall Appearance: 6/10
The poster doesn’t reflect the story well but It does feature Jae and the main girl, it would have been better if some of the other main characters were included though.
Forewords: 9/10
I usually don’t like when writers describe their characters in the forewords, but you didn’t give away too much and left room for the reader to figure out the characters themselves. You also included a short introduction without giving away much. The only qualm I have is that there wasn’t much to make the reader anticipate the story.
Plot: 11/15
I can see that you put effort into what you wrote and tried your best to write a story that your readers would like. You connected your ideas well and always had something new happening. However there were a lot of cliché things happening and the direction of the story was very predictable.
Creativity/Originality: 5/15
This fanfic was very cliché, not only was the storyline uncreative, but the character’s persona can be found in many other fanfics. The love triangle, contract relationship, dead girlfriend, and dress up scene have been seen many times before. The only thing that made this story yours was the fact that you wrote it.
Flow: 5/10
By the second chapter Jae is starting to show signs of affection for the main character, it seems like it is happening to fast. He’ just met her, and although he’s supposed to be in love with Heebon, he’s already thinking of someone else. Furthermore, you wrote about 39 chapters, if things are developing like that already is there a need to prolong the story so much? This makes the flow inconsistent.
Spelling/Grammar/Vocab.: 6/15
There were quite a few mistakes in your writing; it brings down the quality of your writing. There were times when you used a word that didn’t really fit into the sentence, although words are synonyms they have different levels of strength, and the connotations for some words are not the same. There were also a few times where words didn’t belong in the sentence or a word was missing. Some examples of this are “Bud does it real?” it should be “But, is it real?” or “I didn’t dreaming.” “I wasn’t dreaming.” would be a better fit that what you originally wrote. As for your punctuation you didn’t include (‘s) where you should have. When you just put s after a word like in boats, it means more than one, when you use (‘s) as in her’s it shows ownership or some kind of relationship. You also had a lot of fragmented sentences, try connecting sentences together with a comma (,) or semicolon (;) as well as developing the sentence more.
Writing Style: 6/10
The second person point of view isn’t seen often, and can be a little difficult to work with, there were a few instances were a few you switched between the second and first person point of view. Although you changed the point of view giving your characters more of a chance to shine, I feel like they weren’t described enough. I wasn’t able to get a strong enough impression from them.
Overall Enjoyment: 3/10
It wasn’t bad, but it was a far cry from something I would find myself reading on my own. There wasn’t anything unique in your story to make me want to stay.
Total: 56/100
To help improve your grammar score you can always request for a beta reader from Season of Mists. They’ll edit your story for you to get rid of any grammatical, spelling, or punctuation errors. Most importantly sorry for the wait
Labels: Kyn