Kaleidoscope Kreations Reviews
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Hello Established April 19,2010 and headed by Kyn, Kaleidoscope Kreations aims to provide vistors with graphics and reviews. Email us at rain_kissed@live.com with your questions and comments

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Tuesday, October 19, 2010, 5:05 PM
Tattoo Of The Yakuza Geisha

Title: 4/5
From the moment I read your title, interest grew in me. The Yakuza Geisha part works, but I haven’t understood the Tattoo part yet. But you’re story is beginning to unfold, so there is time to develop that.

Overall Appearance: 10/10
I seriously live your poster. The photo of Go Ara is amazing and fit perfectly with your story. There are so many little details that can be linked back to the text. You did an awesome job of picking the photos and v a n n did a wonderful job designing it. The look in Ara’s face is priceless. There is this sad melancholy in her eyes that just speaks a thousand words, she also has the look of a geisha the bold eyes, porcelain skin, and blood red lips. I also noticed the outline of a body with what seems like a tattoo of a classic geisha. I am seriously fangirling over your graphics.

Forewords: 8.5/10
I don’t really like to see character profiles; I prefer to learn about the characters as you read. However, your profiles just gave basic background and didn’t reveal too much. You also had a summary that made a good foundation of your story; still it felt like something was missing.

Plot: 14/15
Your plot was interesting, and I couldn’t think could anything that didn’t fit.

Creativity/Originality: 13/15
It’s refreshing to see a story that doesn’t revolve around bubbly characters, predictable love triangles, and other cliché things. The foundation of your story isn’t 100% original, I have seen one or two; still it’s a breath of fresh air to winglin. One or two things also seem a little reminiscent of Memoirs of a Geisha (the book, not the movie). Lady Mama’s character seems like a mix of Mother and Hatsumomo and Oguri Shun’s character seems like her will be like Toshikazu Nobu.

Flow: 9/10
The flow of the story was consistent, and seemed well thought out. There were no parts that where rushed or moved along slowly.

Spelling/Grammar/Vocab.: 12/15
You had a lot of typos that could be easily fixed by proof reading, please be sure to look over things before you post them, it really makes a difference. You also had a lot of run on sentences, which can be a little confusing sometimes. Break them down into more sentences or use commas and semicolons to separate different ideas. If you need help with grammar and spelling, you could always request a beta reader at Season of Mists (an affie of Yummy Greedy).

Writing Style: 8/10
There is room for improvement with your writing, it lacks in details. Please try to add more descriptions in the future. I also found it a little annoying when sentences would suddenly break and continue in another line. It makes it seem kind of sloppy. I would also like to see you add more depth and strength to your characters. Aside from that your story was simple and easy to follow along with.

Overall Enjoyment: 8/10
As I was reading, I found myself getting very caught up in the story; I didn’t notice that I was constantly clicking next. It was kind if disappointing when I read your last updated chapter, because I wanted to continue reading. Stories like this, that aren’t all fun and games, seem like they have some meaning and depth really interest me. If you polish it up a little, this story will be amazing.

Total: 86.5/100

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