Kaleidoscope Kreations Reviews
Profile
Hello Established April 19,2010 and headed by Kyn, Kaleidoscope Kreations aims to provide vistors with graphics and reviews. Email us at rain_kissed@live.com with your questions and comments
Voice It
Pathways
♣ Home
♣ Staff
♣ Affiliates
Friday, January 14, 2011, 6:25 PM
The Forgotten Melody
Story Title: The Forgotten MelodyAuthor: Pararae
Reviewer: Hainexazien@kaleidoscopekreations.blogspot.com
Title: 4/5
I thought that the title suited the story really well, but if a little more creativity could be put into it, more readers would be attracted to the story more easily. As well, the title is a bit cliché, and overused, and that issue of attraction appears again. Though I would understand why you would choose this title, I would choose a more unique title. Perhaps choose a better word than forgotten? Perhaps a synonym? One that we don’t usually use?
Background/Poster: 5/5
Since there was no poster, I graded this part on your organization of the layout, and if it was easy to read the text in itself. Overall, the text could’ve been a little small, but I’m used to reading small text, so I had no problem with that. You could consider making the text slightly bigger, but that’s about it. The white color of the font really stood out from the black background, so good job!
Forewords: 8/10
Your forewords are really simple, and not really detailed. What could be added to it could be a brief description of the characters as you didn’t describe about them so much in the story other than their appearance, and I would’ve expected a lot more of them describing the personality. But that’s basically it; I can’t find much missing from the forewords.
Plot: 14/15
The plot itself was somewhat overused (As I’ve seen in some other stories), and though it is, you somehow made it unique with your descriptions and had separated this story from the rest. Other than the overused plot, I think that it was really good.
Creativity/Originality: 14/15
Again, it was just using that overused plot, but because of the description (Like I said above), you made the story different from the others in your own way.
Flow: 10/10
The flow was perfect! Good Job!
Spelling/Vocabulary/Grammar: 9/10
The only mistake I found within the story was this:
The word ‘became’ should be changed to ‘become’ in the second paragraph; I’m sure it was just a minor mistake, but to prevent this, you could always reread your stories after you’ve written them. Though it becomes boring at times, it’s good to proofread so that it’s easier for your readers to understand what you’re trying to say.
I really liked the way you used the vocabulary, and didn’t just use simple ones that we use in everyday life, and this really assisted in creating a better image of Jaejoong within the story, and the grammar was almost flawless! Keep up the good work!
Characterization: 13/15
Like usual, it’s hard to maintain characterization within a one-shot because it’s such a short piece of work, and for a one-shot, I’d have to say you did a great job on characterization with all the descriptions of how they look and how great Jaejoong played on the piano, and how beautiful the sound was when he played it. But again, like I’ve stated earlier, you neglected a bit of the personality of the characters, and that’s where I took off the marks.
Writing Style: 9/10
I loved your writing style! It was just because of too much description, at times I would get lost, and it was hard to follow in a lot of ways, and so I took off a mark for that.
Overall Enjoyment: 5/5
Total: 91/100
Good Job Pararae! I probably missed some other mistakes, but I’m full of flaws as well; but this was truly something that brought joy to my day (Though it wasn’t a joyful story). It’s been so long since I’ve read a story with so much details and descriptions! Thanks for requesting at Kaleidoscope Kreations, and I hope you have a great day!
Labels: Hainexazien