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Kaleidoscope Kreations Reviews
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Hello Established April 19,2010 and headed by Kyn, Kaleidoscope Kreations aims to provide vistors with graphics and reviews. Email us at rain_kissed@live.com with your questions and comments Voice It
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Wednesday, May 11, 2011, 9:24 PM
Perfect Lover
Story Title: Perfect LoverAuthor: BeBeYB Reviewer: Melissa Title: 5/5 - Interesting title, catches attention Background/Poster: 5/5- Great graphic design. Simple and it looks well done and catches my attention. Forewords: 8/10- The forewords was informative and gave a great introduction to the story. Plot: 14/15- Hey! This is a spinoff of Absolute boyfriend, so I am familiar with this plot. I have to say, it has too great of a similarity to the manga. But it flows well and characters are interesting enough to make me continue to read. But I have to say, the ending was a little confusing, so thank you for the explanation at the end! Creativity/Originality:14/15- I did have to take a mark off because of the resemblance to the manga, but otherwise, the characters and events are original. Flow:10/10-No holes or rough transitions between chapters. Well done. Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 4/10- Now this is the part where I get quite picky. First of all the grammar in this story was terrible. (this part I did not write down but was JiYong's view) should have been (I did not write this part down, but it was JiYong's point of view) Soo Hyun thought for a moment confused but remember JiYong was a doll. Should be written like this: Soo Hyun thought for a moment, confused, but remembered that JiYoung was a doll. The punctuation in this story was also not so good. I barely saw commas where they were supposed to be. No one spoke no one moved. It should be written like this: No one spoke, no one moved. Some sentences were awkward too. Today I fill really rejoice and happy could be Today I felt overwhelmingly happy. Make sure that you check your spelling and grammar before you publish your work. Sometimes I couldn't get the feeling that the character was trying to portray because of the awkward sentences. Characterization:15/15-The characters were very well developed and I felt lots of sadness with JiYoung and Yuri. Well done. Writing Style: 9/10- As I said, a little awkward, but overall, nice job. Overall enjoyment: 5/5 Total: 89/100 Labels: Melissa Tuesday, April 12, 2011, 9:18 PM
SUPER JUNIOR, SUPER IDOL CHALLENGE!!!!
Author: Xxkpop_queenxXStory Title: SUPER JUNIOR, SUPER IDOL CHALLENGE!!!! Reviewer: Melissa @ Kaleidoscope Kreations Title: 5/5 - It's creative and it catches my attention. Makes me wonder what this story is about! Background/Poster: 5/5- Great poster and background! Great use of the Sapphire Blue in your poster. Forewords:9/10-Good introduction! One thing I would suggest is that you put the background of Eun Hee in point form instead of one paragraph. It would be easier for others to read. Plot:15/15-Good, solid plot. No holes and the pace of the story is adequate. Creativity/Originality:14/15- A little bit cliché, but otherwise, well done. Flow:10/10- No skipping, or missing parts, so it's all good. Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 8/10- I did find minor spelling errors dotting you story, be sure to proofread your work and make sure everything all correctly spelled. Characterization:12/15- Since this story has little narration, I had some trouble visualizing the characters and their emotions and actions. Writing Style: 7/10- I'm not too fond of having just dialogue in the story. I find it quite irritating because I don't get a good sense of emotions in the settings (Like if the setting takes place in a spooky setting, the description really helps put the reader in that spooky and creepy feeling). As well, character actions and having the story from different points of view will enhance the quality of the story. Overall enjoyment: 3/5 Total: 88/100 Labels: Melissa Tuesday, March 22, 2011, 5:56 PM
I Am A Neko, But You'll Still Love Me Right
Author: Sujugirl911Story Title: I Am A Neko, But You'll Still Love Me Right? Reviewer: Melissa @ Kaleidoscope Kreations Title: 3/5 -Not the most eye catching title, I have to say. Most titles would have a hint of mystery or wonder to them, which would pull the reader into reading the story. By reading your title, I can already tell what the general plot will be. Background/Poster:N/A-No poster or banner Forewords:6/10-Good introduction but minimal background information on the main character. Although, I thought that the Super Junior members found out too quickly that your main character was in fact a human in your foreword. Didn't it progress a little too quickly? And how did Kangin and the rest of the members find out in the first place? Was the whole just about falling in love with a member? Was she trying not to get caught or not? It also seems like your Foreword was pretty much another chapter of your story. A foreword just serves as a reason of why the reader should read the story. A simple marketing tool. Plot: 10/15- Again, as I mentioned above, it looks like there are many gaps in the plot. Lots of questions left unanswered. I still don't understand the main character's full situation. How was she brought to the dorms? And no explanation whatsoever about why she was cursed. Where is her family now? Why did they abandon her? Why was it just her? Creativity/Originality:10/15- Chapters were not as detailed as I anticipated them to be. Very short as well. Could use more description with the setting as well as facial expressions and body language. Flow:10/10- Flow is good, no choppy chapters. Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary:8/10- I found some misuse of some words in your story. Like: "I converted my eyes to the bathroom door" in chapter 5. The right word should be "averted". Other than that, sentence structure and grammar is fine. Characterization:12/15-I feel that the main character has very little personality. The main character feels static, and doesn't go through any big problems that drastically change her emotions. She's just happy all the time. Writing Style:9/10- Understandable and clear writing. Overall enjoyment: 3/5 Total: 71/95 Labels: Melissa Monday, January 31, 2011, 8:22 PM
12 Months
Author: FlyxToxHeavenStory Title: 12 months Reviewer: Melissa Before I start, since you don't do forewords, I have added 1-2 pts to every category. Title: 6/6 - Interesting title. It fits the story nicely. Background/Poster: 6/6- Beautiful poster. Dark colours are used to express a dark and sad story. Well done! Forewords:/10- N/A Plot: 15/16- Overall, the plot was easy to understand and follow. It was interesting and eye catching. There was one part in the beginning was a little confusing though. Before the accident, Changmin and Yuchun were best friends, I understood that part. What really confused me was in February, Yuchun spoke about Changmin like he was never friends with him. Creativity/Originality: 16/16- I really liked how the story was split up into months. It was unique and caught my attention immediately. Flow: 10/11- You didn't rush the story and it was like everything fell perfectly into place. Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 9/12-I only found a few small spelling mistakes, and a few tense mistakes, but other than that, it's great! I love how you use a wide variety of vocabulary in your stories. It makes the story more interesting and enjoyable to read. Characterization: 16/16-Good characterization here. Great description as well. Every character has their own different personalities which makes it easy to differentiate and all the more interesting to read. Writing Style: 11/11-Great writing style. Most stories I've seen you write are sad stories and you're very good at writing them. Good description and definitely a unique piece of writing. Good job! Overall enjoyment: 6/6 Total: 95/100 Labels: Melissa Thursday, January 13, 2011, 7:51 PM
Raindrops on my window
Author: FlyxToxHeavenStory Title: Raindrops on my window Reviewer: Melissa Title: 5/5 - Depicts a sad and emotional story that is to be told, catches my interest. Background/Poster:5/5- dark colours match the title well and it shows the emotion and sadness that this story will tell. Forewords:9/10- "I wonder if you can see us...Cassiopea. We're the bright stars that litter the sky, watching over you, waiting for you. Please, don't fade from our sites" <--I'm wondering if this is the forewords? If it is, it depicts the storyline very well and definitely has lots of sadness put into it. Plot:15/15- I'm a huge fan of DBSK and I was quite emotional reading this one-shot. Nearly brought me to tears. Especially when Changmin and Yunho were standing up on the roof. This piece made me realize how much I've missed them, the five of them together. This plot was amazing. Creativity/Originality:15/15- Your story is quite original and very creative. The way you described each and every detail brings this one-shot to life. Flow:10/10- You didn't rush it, nor did you go too slow. When you went from one member to another, it wasn't too confusing and it was easy to follow. You went at such a speed, that the reader can soak up their emotions and actually feel it. Well done. Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary:6/10- You didn't have very many grammatical errors, just little spelling errors. and at the very beginning, you used a homonym. "Please, don't fade from our sites" I think you mean "Please, don't fade from our sights?" Characterization:15/15- You described each and every member clearly. How they were feeling and their expressions were well described. This made it very easy to picture in my mind. Writing Style:7/10- A little confusing at the beginning between Yoochun and Jaejong. At the end of that scene, especially, when you said "Instead, he reached out a delicate hand, that shook from the tremors racking his body, and touched the window." Then it goes to Jaejong standing outside. Woah, I thought this was still talking about Yoochun. If you had indicated that the scene was going to change, it would have made this part less confusing Overall enjoyment: 5/5 Total: 92/100 Labels: Melissa Saturday, December 11, 2010, 9:00 PM
Shadow of an Angel
Author: czakhareina with Mary512 Story Title: Shadow of an Angel Reviewer: Melissa Title: 5/5 - Nice! Dark yet somewhat light! (shadow-dark Angel-light!) Background/Poster: 5/5- the light blues with the black make it look like a sad story with lots of drama. So far, I'm expecting a sad storyline. Forewords:10/10- OOOOOOHHHHhhhhh! Sounds soooo interesting!!! I can't wait to read it!!! Plot:15/15- Nicely done! Problems develop slowly and nice variety of description words! I like how you don't have to tell the readers that he's an angel, it's already implied. Creativity/Originality:15/15- Original, and creative! What more can I say? Flow:8/10- I felt that there wasn't enough explanation of some characters in your story, like the bully at the beginning. How do they know each other? And why is she being bullied so much? Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary:10/10- I found few spelling mistakes. Good job! Characterization:15/15- Characters are developed nicely and clearly. Writing Style:10/10- Really pulled me in with your writing! Good choice of vocabulary and descriptions are good! Overall enjoyment: 5/5 Total: 98/100 Labels: Melissa Tuesday, November 16, 2010, 9:26 PM
To Dance is to Believe
Fanfic: To Dance is to BelieveAuthor: FlyxToxHeaven Reviewer: Melissa Title: 5/5 I'm all for cheesy!! As long as it catches my attention and makes me want to read it, it's an awesome title! Background/Poster: 5/5 Poster is well done and colours are well chosen to depict storyline. Dark colours eh? Sounds like something bad will happen. Forewords: 10/10 This gave me a good insight on the character and it didn't leave me confused or feel that something is missing. Plot: 15/15 Interesting plot and it's easy to follow. It's different than most plots I've seen, not like the same old, same old. Really kept my attention to the end. Creativity/Originality: 15/15 I see lots of creativity here! I can see that it was well thought out and well written!! Flow: 10/10 Flows well and the transitions between scenes are well done. Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 9/10 I did find a couple minor mistakes, but other than that, grammar and vocab are excellent. I really liked how you used a rich variety of words for description. That really kept me reading. Characterization: 15/15 I absolutely love your characters! Each character has their own quirks and personalities, and they are well thought out. Writing Style: 10/10 If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're a professional writer! XD You're writing style is fun to read and is full of personality. If you ever publish a book, I'd be the first one to read it ^^. Overall enjoyment: 5/5 Just for the heck of it, since I really, really, truly enjoyed this story, I'll give you 5 bonus marks. Total: 99/100 Labels: Melissa Monday, September 6, 2010, 8:45 PM
Lifeless Soul
Story Title: Lifeless SoulAuthor:Shadow Reviewer: Melissa Title: 5/5 - Title depicts a sad or depressed character. I could tell what I was going to be reading. Nice job! Background/Poster:5/5- Dark and gloomy. Fits the story well. Forewords:9/10- A little depressing. I felt really...I don’t know how to say this...but I felt sad that this was how you felt in reality! D: Don’t be sad!!! Plot:15/15- Flows well. Not your everyday story that you see on winglin. Nice to see a change! ^^ Creativity/Originality:15/15- It’s different! I like it! Although it is a bit dark, it is a well written story. Flow:10/10- Everything makes sense and fits together. Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary:8/10- I did find some grammar and spelling mistakes, I didn’t list all of them, just a couple examples. “Her parents, her cousins and her friends, neither one of them managed to fully understood her.” should be “ Her parents, her cousins and her friends, neither one of them managed to fully understand her” “Thankfully, the mirror did not break nor her delicate arms but she was still unsatisfied.” should be “Thankfully, the mirror nor her delicate arms broke, but she was still unsatisfied.” Characterization:15/15- Depicts a sad, depressed girl well. Well done! Writing Style:10/10- Very detailed and precise. I could picture the events happening in my mind. Overall enjoyment: 5/5 Total:97 /100 Labels: Melissa Wednesday, August 11, 2010, 9:24 PM
My Private Tutor
fanfic: My Private Tutorauthor: Gril4Life reviewer: Melissa Title: 5/5 - I really like the title! It fits the storyline well. Background/Poster:5/5- The background and poster is very cute and bubbly. It fits the main character and the storyline well. Forewords:10/10- Good and detailed. Definately captures a reader's interest. Well done! Plot:15/15- Good solid plot. Very easy to follow. Creativity/Originality:15/15- Well written and very easy to follow. :) Flow:10/10- Excellent flow. Everything ties in nicely and smoothly. Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary:1010- I didn't find any spelling or grammar mistakes. :) Nice job!! Characterization:14/15- I found that the characters were a little cliche. If they had a personality that was unique, it would make things more interesting. Writing Style:10/10- Great, and easy to understand. The character's thoughts and feelings were expressed clearly and precicely. Overall enjoyment: 5/5 Total: 99/100 Labels: Melissa Friday, July 23, 2010, 11:37 AM
A Bittersweet Twist of Life
Fanfic: A Bittersweet Twist of LifeAuthor: babyHaeYobo Reviewer: Melissa Title: 5/5 - I really like the title! It gives the readers a hint that something unexpected is going to happen! Background/Poster:3/5- At first glance, it seems like it will be a very happy story, based on the bright colors and lettering. But throughout the story, Sungmin kept having flashbacks on his late love, so it doesn’t really reflect on the background/poster. I would’ve used something a little darker, so that the colors do reflect on some of the chapters. Forewords:10/10- Quick, short and sweet. Just how I like it! :) It tells you the general idea of what is going to happen and what to expect. Plot:15/15- Good solid plot. Very easy to follow. Creativity/Originality:14/15- This story is very creative, but it has the typical story of one’s love dying, but they aren’t actually dead, come back and find that their lover has moved on. You know what I’m saying? :) Try adding some sort of twist that not a lot of people have seen. Flow:10/10- Story flows well and chapters don’t skip scenes to suddenly. Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary:8/10- Much better, but I still found some minor mistakes in your story: In the second chapter, it should not be “I and Sungmin”, but “Sungmin and I” “Teukie-hyung will be very much mad at me” should be “Teukie-hyung will be really mad at me” or “very mad at me” or “so mad at me” Be sure to double-check your story and make sure that you have the correct tenses and the correct sentence structure. Make sure that your sentences flow smoothly, as if you were talking to someone else. Characterization:15/15- Characters were interesting each of them had their own unique personalities. This made it interesting and enjoyable to read. Writing Style:9/10- Some of the dialogues were hard to understand, but overall, it was good. Your personality shows through your writing! :) Overall enjoyment: 5/5 Total: 94/100 Labels: Melissa Monday, July 19, 2010, 7:39 PM
fanfic: Living with famous idiots!author: sujudork602 reviewer: Melissa Title: 5/5 - The title is funny and shows the character’s personality. It fits the story well! Background/Poster: 5/5- Shows that the story will be a funny and quirky! Good choice of colours! Forewords:10/10- The introduction is told from the main character’s point of view, which is different from most of the forewords that I’ve read. Great job! Plot:15/15- Your plot is quite solid and flows well. Creativity/Originality: 14/15- Events are creative and make it interesting to read, I definitely like the scene where Henry played his violin in the park with the panda costume on! ^^ One thing I would change would be how Alex came to live with them. Instead of having a family member moving in with Super Junior, maybe Alex could have moved in because of someone’s mistake? Otherwise, this is a really cute story!! Flow: 10/10- Events are well connected together and flow well. Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 9/10- I did find some minor spelling mistakes like “welp” and “hi” instead of “his”, but otherwise, grammar and spelling is great! Characterization: 15/15- Each character has it’s own personality and are a little different from their actual personalities, like Leeteuk! :). Makes the story interesting to read and enjoyable. Writing Style: 10/10- Writing style is simple and easy to read. Keep it up! Overall enjoyment: 98/100 Labels: Melissa Thursday, July 15, 2010, 7:39 PM
A bittersweet twist of Life
Fanfic: A bittersweet twist of LifeAuthor: babyHaeYobo Reviewer: Melissa Title: 5/5 - I really like the title! It gives the readers a hint that something unexpected is going to happen! Background/Poster:3/5- At first glance, it seems like it will be a very happy story, based on the bright colors and lettering. But throughout the story, Sungmin kept having flashbacks on his late love, so it doesn’t really reflect on the background/poster. I would’ve used something a little darker, so that the colors do reflect on some of the chapters. Forewords:10/10- Quick, short and sweet. Just how I like it! :) It tells you the general idea of what is going to happen and what to expect. Plot:15/15- Good solid plot. Very easy to follow. Creativity/Originality:14/15- This story is very creative, but it has the typical story of one’s love dying, but they aren’t actually dead, come back and find that their lover has moved on. You know what I’m saying? :) Try adding some sort of twist that not a lot of people have seen. Flow:10/10- Story flows well and chapters don’t skip scenes to suddenly. Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary:5/10- I found some grammar mistakes in the first chapter: “I wouldn’t have gave up, I would’ve stayed by his side all of those times he suffered and needed me” should have been “I wouldn’t have given up, I would’ve stayed by his side all of those times he suffered and needed me.” “I don’t care if I’m the king of the world, as long as I can took care of that guy” should be “I didn’t care if I was the king of the world, as long as I could take care of that guy.” “that time I don’t even need to be super man as long as he’s my biggest fan” should be “at that time, I didn’t even need to be super man, as long as he was my biggest fan” I found some other similar mistakes throughout your story. Be careful with the tenses. They should never be mixed. In the second chapter, it should not be “I and Sungmin”, but “Sungmin and I” You also word your sentences funny, for example “Teukie-hyung will be very much mad at me” should be “Teukie-hyung will be really mad at me” or “very mad at me” or “so mad at me” Be sure to double-check your story and make sure that you have the correct tenses and the correct sentence structure. Make sure that your sentences flow smoothly, as if you were talking to someone else. Characterization:15/15- Characters were interesting each of them had their own unique personalities. This made it interesting and enjoyable to read. Writing Style:9/10- Some of the dialogues were hard to understand, but overall, it was good. Your personality shows through your writing! :) Overall enjoyment: 4/5 Total: 90/100 Labels: Melissa Sunday, June 27, 2010, 8:51 PM
2+2 Could Equal Me And You
Fanfic: 2+2 Could Equal Me And YouAuthor: susan lee :] Reviewer: Melissa Title: 5/5 Very creative title! Although at first, I didn’t know how math would conjure love... Background/Poster: 5/5 The colors and pictures that you used for the poster showed that this story was going to be a fun, humorous type story, and that I would enjoy reading this very much. Forewords: 9/10 I would really like it if you could put a bit more description or background information for each of the characters, like did their parents get divorced, had education issues etc. Plot: 15/15 Your plot was well structured, and you introduced the characters well. The scenes were well organized and I could follow your thoughts. The main point of this story is clear to me, and it was easy to follow. Creativity/Originality: 15/15 I thought it was creative and original. You used lots of description and displayed the characters feelings well, and used humor often, which kept me reading. Instead of having two lifelong friends fall in love with each other, you changed it so that you had a tutor and a student, which made it more interesting. Flow: 8/10 Most of it flowed well, you didn’t go to fast of too slow. Although, sometimes, the way you end one chapter, and start another can be a little confusing. In one chapter, it ended with Yoobin trying to sleep, and in the beginning of the next chapter, Kangin was walking out of her room. If you included Kangin walking in to see if she was okay, it would be easier to follow. Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 10/10 Good vocabulary overall. I didn’t come across any spelling mistakes and sentence structure was well done. Characterization: 14/15 Again, you displayed the characters feelings well, and I could ‘feel’ them. However, it didn’t explain why Eunhyuk wasn’t smart in the first place. No background on issues about doing bad in school at all. Writing Style: 10/10 Writing style is well done. Changes of scenes are clear. Thoughts and feelings are well defined. Overall enjoyment: 4.5/5 Total: 95.5/100 Labels: Melissa Friday, April 23, 2010, 4:46 PM
Memento Of OursAuthor: Susan Lee Link: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/suxsan5/ Reviewer: Melissa @Kaleidoscope Kreations Title: 4/5 There was a spelling mistake in the title of your story. Otherwise, the title was great. It portrayed the story well and it gave us an idea on what the story is about. Background/Poster: 5/5 The background poster matched well with the story. You chose appropriate colors and it wasn’t hard to read the text. Forewords: 9/10 Forewords were good. It was good that you took an excerpt from your story to give us an idea of the plot line, but didn’t give so much information so that you give away the plot line to keep your readers interested. You could explain Minkyung a bit more. There wasn’t enough background information on Minkyung to really understand her character. Plot: 13/15 Plot was written with thought and detail. In some parts, it wasn’t clear whether it was a flashback or reality. As I said in the forewords, explain some small details, like how Minkyung lived with Big Bang. Your story didn’t drag on about one thing for too long, so it wasn’t boring to read. You also switched point of views quite frequently to explain situations, which was good. I felt that the ending was too short, and that the ‘Happily ever after’ was such a short time after the incident. After Uee gets sent away, Minkyung brightens up almost instantly and get back together with Daesung. She wasn’t shocked, or sad that one of her best friends tried to frame her. Creativity/Originality: 14/15 Your story was somewhat original, and it was creative. The plot was different, which will catch the readers interest for sure. Flow: 9/10 Your story flowed well. You didn’t move through the story too fast or too slow so that your readers will understand the situation at hand. The ending, however, as I mentioned above, moved too fast. Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 9/10 There were minor spelling mistakes, and had some weird sentence structure. Characterization: 13/15 Your characters weren’t described enough. It felt like they didn’t have much personality and there wasn’t enough background information like family experiences, problems etc on each character to really get to know them, so that your readers will feel how they feel. Writing Style: 10/10 Your writing style is easy to comprehend and really set the mood for the story. Amount of description was ample and well written. Overall enjoyment: 5/5 Great story overall. It really kept me reading until the very end. Total: 90/100 Labels: Melissa |