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Hello Established April 19,2010 and headed by Kyn, Kaleidoscope Kreations aims to provide vistors with graphics and reviews. Email us at rain_kissed@live.com with your questions and comments

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Tuesday, December 21, 2010, 5:49 PM
It's SM L♥ve!

fanfic: It's SM L♥ve!
author: baeunalurve19
reviewer: Orphey


Title: 3/5
Since you haven't finished the story, I can't take off or give much for this one because you haven't gotten to the "love" part yet. But on a different note, using the word "love" in a title is discouraged. It much too over-used. But since it's short, and SM kind of hints at a "love" between people in SM entertainment, I'll give you some points on that. Well at least, I hope that's in the ball park. ^^


Background/Poster: 3/5
I like how the poster's arranged [somewhat] photo-wise. The girls don't look cluttered. It's the title placing that I'm disagreeing with. The Angel girl's photo is overlapping the title path. You have to scroll further down to see it. I even have to tilt my head because the background is in such great contrast with the title that I can't focus in on it. Overall, I think the background is over done in some contrast. It distracts from what you should see first thing.


Forewords: 7/10
The forewords were overdone in adverbs/adjectives. Your descriptors were blatant. I immediately felt like you were trying to sell me something. It seemed cheesy almost. Since your story was of the apply sort, I agreed with the "advertise" feel, but the excess of description caught you. This has more to do with flow, so I didn't count too much off for it.


Plot: 12/15
In the beginning, I honestly was clueless as to where you were going with the plot line. I kept getting distracted by your many references to things that didn't really matter (like over-exaggerated comparisons). Your awkward/happy/dorky moments make up most of your plot line so far, but it is entertaining. ^.^ And though people may say that's not truly a "plot," a "plot" is meant to entertain or please the mind. Yours did, despite it being a little off in almost one too many spots, you still kept me entertained. And since it's not done, I can't completely judge you on this area yet.


Creativity/Originality: 10/15
I've seen many stories with created girl groups, but then again it's the easiest way to associate to the idol. But then again (again) it's your responsibility as an author to get creative no matter the circumstance.


Flow: 6/10
Your flow is decent. It could use some work because you like to jump around. You should try not to put in too many distracting details. You get caught up in your thought process, and you have to make sure you don't stray from what you were originally trying to say.


Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 6/10
Oi...when I read your writing, many things are, well, off. Your spelling is fine, but your grammar definitely needs work. Some of your sentences make me have to stop and think about to understand with the way you worded them. Your worst point would have to be verb tenses. They very first chapter for instance: "They placed their butt on their own chair, yeah! this mean, they have their own chair which has a name on it. So, they can't sit on other people chair." It looks like something that a translator would give me. You also have many unnecessary or irrelevant words/phrases that distract from the sentence's meaning. Maybe you're trying too hard. Just remember to read over what you've written to make sure it sounds right. If you're unsure of how something sounds, do not use it.


Characterization: 12/15
Despite the grammar, you distinguished between your characters' personalities well. You kept an overall happy feel to all of them. And although that is nice because it's well "happy" you should incorporate more than just those happy moments. Variety will get you far. Your happy moments sometimes got awkward, which then made them uncomfortable.


Writing Style: 7/10
Your grammar takes away from your writing style. Your distractions contribute to it, but they also make it somewhat dislikable. Check your writing often and make sure everything sounds right.


Overall enjoyment: 4/5
Although I did enjoy the awkward and happy surrounding of everything, in some places it became to weird that it was uncomfortable; and that's what took away some of the enjoyment. I think it was the way you expressed the boys' feelings. They were REALLY awkward to me. I could picture the girls being silly like that, but when you tried showing the boys in that kind of light things just got a little out of hand.


Total: 70/100

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Thursday, October 21, 2010, 5:12 PM
Shadow of an Angel

fanfic: Shadow of an Angel
author: czakhareina
reviewer: Orphey


Title: 5/5
When I first saw the title, I was thinking the story was going to just be a cliche. I wasn't expecting it to be that literal. But after reading the story, it makes sense. The title fits perfectly. Love it.


Background/Poster: 5/5
I, being a designer myself, find it easy to "nit-pick" at every little thing in a poster. But the graphic isn't the main focus, the storyline is. So all in all, I think the poster (as I said with the title) fits very well. HyunJoong looks very 'angelic,' Taecyeon looks calm and proud, and Yoona is kind of just blankly staring out. The colors and arrangement suit the mood. The clock obviously symbolizing time, and if I'm not mistaken the watery scene represents a haven-like place (heaven). Everything clicks in the right position.


Forewords: 10/10
I thought it was very catchy putting each of your chapters' one word titles in the forewords. It's clever and doesn't reveal too much of the story. Good job.


Plot: 13.5/15
The whole idea of god and angels slightly shook me away from the plot. I'm a very literal person most of the time. One thing I have to pick at. You gave the all powerful "God" a name. I think that was revealing too much. You should've kept the being nameless, shroud him (or her, but clearly him) in enough mystery to have him/her keep the 'superior being' title, but still shed enough light to achieve the same effect of showing that HyunJoong was going against what his god wanted him to do.


Creativity/Originality: 15/15
Although other people may say that anything to do with angels is cliché, I disagree. I think cliché means that the gist is a duplicate. Your gist is not. Your story implies a lot of meaning and out of the box thinking. I liked that.


Flow: 7/10
The beginning of your story really had me thinking that I wouldn't like the story, but as I kept reading I noticed that your story had more meaning than literal text. When someone starts out reading a story, you want to pull them in and keep them in. At first, you pulled me in, but then you lost some of your grip on my interest when you introduced Heechul. From there, the 'kiddy' insults took control of your flow. You did very well in the second half of the story, but you were kind of lacking in the beginning.


Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 6.5/10
Some things in your story were...poorly worded. They were grammatically 'rough.' You should re-read entire sections at a time to make sure everything sounds right. You had some run-ons, a few spelling errors, some verb-tense disagreements in the beginning, and some missing punctuation. Try not to use more than two commas in a sentence. It keeps the sentence from dragging on.


Characterization: 13/15
I can't really take off here because you only had three characters and usually kept updated on them throughout the story. There are just two things. One: you introduced Heechul in the beginning. I was expecting him to be an important character, but you kind of just made him disappear after the first chapter. Try not to put too much emphasis on one character that you're not going to use ever again. And two: the constant POV switching. It got a little confusing. In the middle of your story, I kept on wanting to get HyunJoong and Taecyeon mixed up. I think you should add some more physical details to the characters to help the readers distinguish between them.


Writing Style: 10/10
Your writing style seemed like you wrote the way you would tell the story out loud. It supported your mood.


Overall enjoyment: 5/5
In the beginning I enjoyed the story, and in the end I enjoyed it. The middle was a little confusing, and when it wasn't confusing it was moping-moping-moping. :( I didn't take off for the moping part because the storyline called for it. I didn’t take off for the slight confusion because that made the story interesting and complex. And reflecting back on your story, I really enjoyed it. :]


TOTAL: 90/100

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