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Hello Established April 19,2010 and headed by Kyn, Kaleidoscope Kreations aims to provide vistors with graphics and reviews. Email us at rain_kissed@live.com with your questions and comments
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Thursday, March 31, 2011, 4:32 PM
Remember Me
Title – Remember Me (Chapter 1-14) Author – katastrophick
Reviewer – sadnitez
Title – 3/5
The title is clear, simple and relevant to the story. But it’s a pretty common title everywhere, so it didn’t strike as eye-catching to me.
Graphics/Poster – 2/5
The poster is a bit too simple for my liking. And since the poster seemed to focus on a love triangle between Doojoon, Junhyung and Gi, perhaps it will be better to place Doojoon’s face in the poster. That way, it gives rooms for suspense and speculations about Gi’s final choice between both characters.
On another note, (I‘m not trying to be racist here) I found Western girl to be a slightly strange choice as the poster model of your story’s main female lead. I was expecting Asian girls to be exact, since this is a love story with Asian idols and you didn’t state the origins of Gi. So it’s a bit of a paradox to me. But then again, it’s my one person point of view and is not representative of the whole audience. Sorry if it offends you and anyone in any ways.
Foreword – 9/10
Great foreword! It’s like a prologue, showing a very brief portion of the story with details. The foreword’s content subtly explained the relevance of the story title. This foreword has certainly perked my interest in this story! I found your foreword as a great start to the story! ^^
Originality – 7/10
Main female lead forgets the main male lead – It’s actually quite a common plot around. Love a triangle that involves the leads and their close friends – it’s also another common plot seen around. But having a common plot isn’t necessarily a bad thing because it shows that the plot makes enough sense for writers to keep using them over and over again. In your case, your plot, though unoriginal, is very realistic and believable to me. And that’s more than enough for me to give thumbs up! :D
Flow – 12.5/15
A few readers might find the story’s flow to be a tad slow. But I actually enjoyed the slow pace of your plot. I like how you took the time to develop the thoughts and emotions of the characters instead of diving them into a crazy, mad love rush like some desperados! xD
Plot/Characterization – 17/20
You have a very solid plot going on there! I can’t disagree with any portion of the plot in every chapter because I find everything absolutely believable.
Plot wise, I haven’t seen any crescendo that would make this story exciting. If I have to say, it’s like a smooth flowing river – mundane and ordinary. But I understand that in a realistic plot, it would be ridiculous if events kept popping up in the characters’ lives on a daily basis. However do take note that you have to keep a certain suspense and mystery running to maintain readers’ interests in the story.
Characters wise, I’m fairly surprised (in a pleasant way) by how real Doojoon’s and Junhyung’s characterizations seemed to me. I’m pointing this out because female writers (e.g. – me) usually portray guys in very un-guyish manners (this may be because of their feminine perspective of guys). However in your story, their actions, speeches and thoughts make me feel as if they are real life guys. So I’m concluding that you are either a girl who is very sensitive to guys’ actions and thoughts or you are a male writer!
*Cough* I seem to be diverging from the review…
Writing style – 17.5/20
Perfect English makes reading (this story) such a breeze. Using different writing styles to indicate different POVs has also prevented me from getting confused when there are multiples POV in each chapter. I enjoyed your writing style. But there seem to be a tendency for you to overly describe certain actions/scenes and I found them to be slightly unnecessary.
E.g. – Chapter 1 paragraph 1 – Instead of going into details of how she got out of the car, you can scrape all the descriptions and just briefly state that she got out of the car.
Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling/Vocabulary – 9.5/10
If I am just an ordinary reader in AFF, I would have given you a perfect score. But being a reviewer means that I have to leave no stone unturned, so I did spot a few (very, very minor) tense problems. Note that when you do flashbacks (in italics font), sentences should be in past tense. Other than that, it’s simply perfect English! I’m almost hating myself for taking 0.5 score off this section!
Overall Enjoyment – 3.5/5
This is definitely a great read! Though I’m not familiar with Beast, (I had to Google the members’ profile to find out who’s who) I still found myself enjoying this fan fiction. You wrote in such a way that it was easy for me to imagine the story like it was some kind of an American drama (maybe O.C?). So I’m sure that Beast fans will certainly enjoy this story as well! Cheers! ^^
TOTAL – 81/100
Labels: sadnitez