Kaleidoscope Kreations Reviews
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Hello Established April 19,2010 and headed by Kyn, Kaleidoscope Kreations aims to provide vistors with graphics and reviews. Email us at rain_kissed@live.com with your questions and comments Voice It
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Tuesday, September 27, 2011, 1:59 PM
Tuesday, August 16, 2011, 11:37 AM
http://www.megavideo.com/?v=6VXME3Q1 11:35 AM
Tuesday, May 24, 2011, 7:24 PM
Love Through Music
Title – Love Through Music (2 Chapters - Completed)Author – Amber Reviewer – sadnitez Title – 3.5/5 I do see the link between the title and the plot. But this is a rather common title and isn’t necessarily attention-grabbing to most readers. Graphics/Poster – 3/5 Though the poster was done up rather nicely, I was confused by the choice of pictures used. This story is from Hebe’s POV, so I was wondering (initially) why GuiGui is in the poster. It didn’t help that I couldn’t see Aaron’s face clearly either. It became hard to decide who the main female character in the story is. The focus of the story became blurred. This isn’t a good start, especially since I haven’t even read the story yet. A suggestion here would be to place Hebe as the central character in the poster, with Aaron and GuiGui as background characters. That way, it will be easier for readers to figure out that Hebe is the main character in the story and the story probably relates to Aaron and GuiGui in one way or another. Foreword – 7.5/10 Nice, detailed foreword! The foreword presented a big question in Hebe’s mind. Her determination in wanting to solve this question creates suspense for the oncoming plot. It sounded almost like a detective plot to me! Great job on that! ^^ Originality – 7/10 The plot wasn’t something that stands out as really creative or surprising to me. But I do enjoy how you laid out the plot by telling a story to tell the real story within. That’s definitely a creative twist and I do have to give you credits for that! ^^ Flow – 10/15 The start of the story went well and the pace was fairly even. I like how you tried to establish a romantic link between Hebe and Aaron by creating and describing their interactions. What I didn’t really like was the turn of events that ended the story abruptly. I’m sure more can be done on the ending to make this story spectacular. There’s defiantly room for improvement on this aspect! :) Plot/Characterization – 12.5/20 Though I was initially confused by the poster, I was able to get the gist of the story as I read. I like that the plot is direct, simple and easy to understand. I can see that you made efforts to describe this story with details. But there are still a few missing details and this made some parts of the story seemed strange. E.g.: You mentioned that the couches seemed burnt but the piano remained perfectly fine even though it was placed in the center of a burning warehouse. E.g.: Was the fire that broke out at school purely an accident or was it made by Aaron? If he was the culprit, was he trying to suicide? If yes, why did he choose to die in school and not in the warehouse instead? See where I’m going here? This story will develop a plot that is more solid if you reflect back on the sequences of events when you write. The story twist was good, good, good! But you should try to reveal the surprise bit by bit instead. Doing so will allow readers to feel the buildup of suspense of this entire mystery and upped this story by a notch :) Characters-wise, I do have to say that your portrayal of the main female character, Hebe, is different from the rest. While other writers try to make their female leads as likeable as possible, you went ahead to create a character that wasn’t afraid of being labeled as bitchy. While it’s a different approach, I have to admit that I found Hebe’s characterization to be slightly dislikeable and so, I couldn’t align myself with her. This lack of character alignment prevents me from being absorbed into the plot to enjoy the story better. Writing style – 15/20 I liked how you focused on only on three characters so I’m able to understand each character fairly quickly. This one-shot started out well and it’s easy to get the main gist of the plot. A few sentences sounded awkward but it isn’t a serious problem as they didn’t affect my understanding of the story. Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling/Vocabulary – 7/10 I have to say that I’m not strict about grammar as long as the sentences make sense. For your story, most sentences do make sense to me. So I’m pretty much fine with your writing. But I do have to point out that quite a few sentences sound awkward and you have the tendency to overuse commas. E.g.: Err, it's okay. It's not your fault anyway. Any idea on how to get it un-sticky?" asked Arron, with a small chuckle. Err, it's okay. It's not your fault anyway. Any idea on how to get it un-sticky?" Aaron asked with a small chuckle E.g. :"I shouldn't be here," said Arron, quickly, without opening his eyes. “I shouldn't be here," Aaron said quickly without opening his eyes. E.g.: That, I was happy about but even after a month, he wasn't my boyfriend. I was happy about that. But even after a month had passed, he still wasn't my boyfriend. Do take note of your spelling/typo errors as well. E.g.: “Come on it," he said. “Come on." He said. E.g.: "Well, know you know where I'll always go," said Aaron, with a blank expression. "Well, now you know where I'll always go," Aaron said with a blank expression on his face. Overall enjoyment – 3/5 “A nice afternoon read” pretty much sums up my feelings as I read this fanfic. I’m sure that your story will please any Aarron/Hebe/GuiGui fans out there! Cheers ^^ TOTAL – 68.5/100 Labels: sadnitez Wednesday, May 11, 2011, 9:29 PM
I’ll stay BEHIND the Camera, Thanks
Title – I’ll stay BEHIND the Camera, Thanks. (26 Chapters - Completed)Author – carlyxoxorenee Reviewer – sadnitez Title – 4/5 An interesting title! I like how it’s clear and relevant to the main female character (since she’s a photographer). Graphics/Poster – 4/5 A very neat, simple yet attractive looking poster! Using the picture of a female photographer has fit very well in portraying the female lead’s image to me. By not revealing her clearly, it also allows me to imagine her features to my own preferences. It’s definitely a clever use of a picture! Foreword – 7/10 I liked how the foreword started with a matter-of-fact tone to describe the female character. It makes everything seems more real to me. Nothing much is revealed in the foreword and this is fine for me since I prefer to have some suspense about the story before reading the actual thing. Originality – 8.5/10 A romance between an idol and his photographer? That definitely did raise some interest from me! I always feel that photographers and idols share some sort of intimate relationships that are just waiting to be written.... (Or is it just me?) And you finally did it! But that being said, minus their roles, it’s just another fan-fiction type of romance, boy meets girl, they fall in love etc. Yet you managed to keep me intrigued with bits of Cora’s mysterious past planted here and there in the story. It kept up a certain level of suspense in the story with this unexplained plot. Good job on that! ^^ Flow – 11/15 I enjoyed the fairly quick pace of the plot for the first few chapters. But everything seems to rush in somewhere after Chapter 6. To tell you the truth, I didn’t realize how rapid the pace was till the end of the story. It was only until I started recalling the plot do I realize – Holy crap, the events were only a week’s long?! So personally speaking, I found the pace of the romance between Rain and Cora to be more of a “vacation-romance-fling” type. And again, this is just my personal opinion and is not reflective of the general readers’. ^^b Plot/Characterization – 13.5/20 Here’s the part which I will probably be (or attempt to be) most critical about. At first glance, I found no major problems with the plot. The general plot is simple enough – Cora and Rain falls in love. It’s more about the sub-plots that I seem to have problems with. You created short scenes where Cora met guys (out of the blue) and interacted with them briefly, before making these guys disappeared as if they had never existed in the first place. While these scenes do add to the content, I don’t quite get the purpose of creating these extra characters in the first place. To me, the guys seem like those “Hi, Bye” type of characters that have probably added nothing substantial to the plot other than filling Rain, with jealousy that only lasted for three-four sentences. The same case seems to go for Tessa. You have created a substantial sub plot revolving around Tessa. There was even a chapter explaining Cora’s search for her. But you ended the story without filling this sub plot properly. It was simply left hanging there, leaving me to wonder about Tessa and a bit bothered by the fact that the whole Tessa-thing seems like a wild-goose-chase. But I do know you are currently addressing this issue in your sequel now ^^ Lastly, onto the characters! I have to admit that Cora appears as a likeable, sensible type of character to me at first glance. I changed my opinion after her drastic tantrum at Chapter 9. It was such a 180 degree change of character that I was wondering if it’s still the same Cora I was reading. What’s more incredible was that Rain acted perfectly like a Prince Charming despite her tantrums/actions. This suddenly makes me feel like he’s Edward Cullen (from Twilight) with his boundless patience. No prize for guessing who resembles Bella to me! *Chuckles* (I do know you have tried to address this issue but Cora still seem out-of-character at some points. But this is just my two-cents worth of thought >.<) Writing – 17.5/20 Great writing style! Everything became so readable because of it. You conveyed the plot well with simple and easy sentences. In addition, your writing style has masked the flaws in your story plot. In fact, I have to say that one of the main reasons why this fan-fiction is so enjoyable is due to great English! Good job on that! ^^ Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling/Vocabulary – 10/10 I want want want want to say Perfect English! I really can’t bring myself to nit-pit at the minor errors (because they are too minor). In fact, I gave up trying to find errors. So I’m going to say that your English scores a Perfect 10!!! Overall enjoyment – 3.5/5 It seems like a long story with its 26 chapters. But your perfect English has make reading such a breeze. I actually finished reading the entire fan-fiction at one go! That’s truly a feat since I do tend to take breaks once in a while. Despite some plot holes here and there, I still enjoy this sweet and simple romance between Rain and Cora. Cheers! ^^ (Lastly I do want to apologize for this late review. I have been swamped with work. It seems like a pathetic excuse but I do hope you understand! Thanks again for the review request!) TOTAL – 79/100 Labels: sadnitez 9:24 PM
Perfect Lover
Story Title: Perfect LoverAuthor: BeBeYB Reviewer: Melissa Title: 5/5 - Interesting title, catches attention Background/Poster: 5/5- Great graphic design. Simple and it looks well done and catches my attention. Forewords: 8/10- The forewords was informative and gave a great introduction to the story. Plot: 14/15- Hey! This is a spinoff of Absolute boyfriend, so I am familiar with this plot. I have to say, it has too great of a similarity to the manga. But it flows well and characters are interesting enough to make me continue to read. But I have to say, the ending was a little confusing, so thank you for the explanation at the end! Creativity/Originality:14/15- I did have to take a mark off because of the resemblance to the manga, but otherwise, the characters and events are original. Flow:10/10-No holes or rough transitions between chapters. Well done. Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 4/10- Now this is the part where I get quite picky. First of all the grammar in this story was terrible. (this part I did not write down but was JiYong's view) should have been (I did not write this part down, but it was JiYong's point of view) Soo Hyun thought for a moment confused but remember JiYong was a doll. Should be written like this: Soo Hyun thought for a moment, confused, but remembered that JiYoung was a doll. The punctuation in this story was also not so good. I barely saw commas where they were supposed to be. No one spoke no one moved. It should be written like this: No one spoke, no one moved. Some sentences were awkward too. Today I fill really rejoice and happy could be Today I felt overwhelmingly happy. Make sure that you check your spelling and grammar before you publish your work. Sometimes I couldn't get the feeling that the character was trying to portray because of the awkward sentences. Characterization:15/15-The characters were very well developed and I felt lots of sadness with JiYoung and Yuri. Well done. Writing Style: 9/10- As I said, a little awkward, but overall, nice job. Overall enjoyment: 5/5 Total: 89/100 Labels: Melissa Friday, April 22, 2011, 12:33 PM
To dance is to believe
Title: To dance is to believe Author: flyxtoxheaven Reviwer: Harumi95 Title: 2/5 Before I even started reading your fic, I was instantly pulled away from reading it by this extremely cliche title. It… really makes me cringe. BUT – I suppose it creates this ‘stereotypical’ feeling to your fic, which is a great comeback when you start reading the story ^^ Background/Poster: 2/5 To be very honest, it was poorly made. I suppose it’s not really your fault that the poster maker would make such a poster, but you should have checked his/her earlier works to see if it was good enough. The colours, the texture, the layout… Everything is very unflattering. However, you can change this very easily by requesting from another site/ user. Forewords: 6/10 I’ll forgive the fact that you listed the genre and the rating because it’s very brief – it doesn’t really give away the plot like a lot of poorly written stories do. The brief summary seems to be a little rushed – and it SCREAMED out SPOILER. This is a huge no! Try and capture the reader, make me begging for more of this fantastic story you’ll give!! And it was more disappointing because your story’s pace was brilliant – and those three lines kinda ruined it. If you are planning to be a writer one day, this is actually very important – it will serve as a blurb of the story - and what kind of a good reader would read the book without reading the blurb? No one. And trust me on that. Plot: 12/15 (I’m sorry to say that I was unable to fully read your story as I couldn’t find the rest after chapter…8/9?? I went through all your other stories – the rest of this one was missing. Next time, please TELL me where your story is, and if it’s hard to find, because it took me half an hour trying to find chapter one after the prologue you sent me.) It was…. Really typical. There was the typical trauma of the protagonist, and her typical past, but nothing else. There wasn’t a single comeback, or a great twist to the story… And personally, I found that a little boring. I really dislike romances of this type – doesn’t have a climax. Nothing I can really say about it, because I wasn’t able to read the ending, and the ending is THE most important part of a plot. Creativity/Originality: 12/15 It’s definitely more creative than most fics I see these days, but it still seemed slightly stereotypical… Is it just me who found it a little boring? Add something dynamic to your story – if you are planning to go into the writing genre, then you should know that even the most boring subjects/ genres/ characters can be turned into an instant favourite with the right author. Me finding your fic slightly tedious is not due to the fact that I generally dislike this genre, but the fact that it was…. Deflated? Bland? One thing I’m happy about is that the main protagonist wasn’t the Miss Perfect everyone is pining to write about these days. Now that is BAD. It makes me want to throw my laptop in anger -___- Flow: 7/10 I was extremely pleased at how your story flowed. Even though the grammar WAS slightly rocky, and it annoyed me continuously when I was reading, it had a very good pace – not too slow, not too fast. And that is something of an achievement to hear it from me. I’m very sensitive with the pace of a story. One thing I have to mention is that I LOVED how your character interaction scenes flowed! When the two protagonists were kissing/ touching, it made me feel like I was the character! (:D) Oh yes, I have to admit though, I could tell that you rushed moving onto different scenes in some parts of the story. I KNOW it’s tedious work trying to merge the scenes together, but it’s necessary – please go back and see if there’s any unnatural jumps and slips. Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 7/10 Okay. One word to say to you. COMMAS. I personally don’t get it – if your writing level is this high, how is it that you skip out on one of the MOST basic levels of writing?? Take a deep breath, then read through your fic quickly – if it doesn’t make sense and you have to reread the part again, there’s something wrong with it. Commas should go where it sounds right – a pause, a gap, a separation of idea. It is SO ESSENTIAL. Especially if you’re going to the writing profession! Tiny mistakes are embedded in your fic, and it’s not very good. For example: ‘You’re lying, not about Midori about being lonely.’ For a skilled reader who reads fast, this sentence got me really confused. Midori was lonely? No. It’d be: ‘You’re lying. Not about Midori, but about being lonely.’ I have to confess, it’s really awkward. Take the beginning for example, ‘Music swirled around the dusty attic, what little light managed to find it's way into the cramped area hit floor boards, dented and smooth from years of dancing. Old broken pieces of mirrors picked up by a young girl years ago were stuck to the widest wall, forming a larger mirror, though crooked and awkward, which had been used religiously. The boards that helped hold the rusty roof on the house were covered in towels or some sort of prop picked out of bins or bought cheaply at second hand shops.’ ‘Music swirled around the dusty attic, the little light that managed to find its way through hitting the floor boards, worn and dented from years of use. A crooked large mirror adorned the widest wall, cracks shimmering along the surface as if it remembered the young girl who picked and glued each broken pieces of glass together laboriously. (I didn’t actually understand the next sentence, so I guessed the meaning) Looking at the side, there were boards that served as pillars, covered in old towels and ragged props, carefully picked out from second hand shops and bins to form a vibrant collection.’ I’m definitely not saying that my writing style is any better than yours (far from it), but can you see the difference? Making sense is even more important than sounding extravagant – always remember that. If you think you’re not making sense, then make everything simpler; that will be much better than just rambling long and descriptive words that will be hard to figure out. Characterization: 12/15 Taeyeon seemed to be the stereotypical ‘loud girl’ type – which I wasn’t so fond of. Her personality seemed to be MUCH too exaggerated, and seldom natural. However. Did I ever mention that I never really liked Changmin before? Well, scrap that, because I now officially have this crush on him. I actually ADORED the details and descriptions on Changmin – it made everything so much real and interesting. I actually loved the other characters too – Midori was a bit typical, but characters such as Tim and her friends jumped out of the page to life – excellent. Writing Style: 8/10 With a bit of polish, your writing style would be amazing! I loved how your style was really… professional. I can see the rough diamond~! Apart from the minor tweaks (that are pretty important), I liked most things about it. Overall enjoyment: 3/5 I personally don’t favor stories of this style – so it’s no one’s fault that it’s a three. To be honest, if it was of any less quality, it would’ve been an EASY 1 or 2, so 3 is a very good score considering the genre. Total: 71/100 I’m so sorry it’s late D: I completely forgot about the pending requests!!!!!!!!!!! Many apologies and please note that my review is a portrayal of MY OPINION – which definitely isn’t always right :D Thanks and have a lovely day ^^ I hope I helped. Labels: Harumi95 |